


You're All I See

by orphan_account



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-15 22:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16072403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After an accident had left him blind, Hwang Minhyun hadn't expected to get his sight back so soon.It comes with an unexpected side-effect - visions of a mysterious, handsome man keep appearing in his line of sight.Minhyun tries to solve the mystery and finds something and someone he doesn't expect.





	You're All I See

"Why is it so dark, where am I...where is everyone?"

Minhyun felt a hand in his, soft and small. A voice, familiar.  
  
"We're here, sweetheart. We're all here." His mother's voice was calm but it seemed strained. As though she was struggling to compose herself.

 _Who? What?_ He couldn't see a thing.

He reached his hand up to his eyes before he realised just why.

"You were lucky to have survived," Minhyun's father this time. His voice cracked, fraying at the edges.

"Your van overturned...the driver's in a coma. Your manager...I'm sorry son, but Jun didn't make it."

 

_That’s how it is, we all go on living_

_Feeling some kind of emptiness_

_Some kind of emptiness in our heart_

_That’s how it is for all of us, we all go on living_

_Feeling some kind of emptiness_

_Some kind of emptiness in our heart_

 

A young man sings on a bare stage, one that is unadorned by props with just a changing electronic backdrop that changes with his songs.

In the voice, a yearning. A soft, almost keening quality to it, and longing, so much longing.

In singing, there is that power - to articulate in the notes and melody the quiet speech of your heart.

Enough for others to listen, and respond.

Respond they do.

"Hwang Minhyun! Hwang Minhyun!" They call the solitary singer's name as he ends his melancholy ode.

He smiles in the direction of their voices, his hearing making up for what his eyes lack.

He stands and bows.

It is his last show before he goes on another hiatus - he'd never expected to come back to the stage after the accident. But he lost his sight, and not his voice. No dancing on stage for him now - just seated performances and in some ways, Minhyun almost liked it better.

When he could see, he would put as much energy into connecting with the audience, looking at the crowd, giving out as much eye contact as he could because he knew how much it would make a fan's night.

Now all he had was his voice. So he concentrated on pouring every bit of feeling into each note, like a musician would his instrument.

Because things were going to change, again. This time he was ready.

***

He can hear them all, the little crowd gathered around his hospital bed. The loud laugh means his best friend Dongho is near, maybe less than five inches from his right hand.

While their voices are low, he can hear his parents talking in a far-off corner with a relative.

A soft pad of footsteps through the door. That must be Jonghyun. He always walks so carefully, quietly. Like a cat would, he thinks. Though Minhyun's never actually seen a cat but maybe he will soon. Put a face to the rumbling purrs, the soft coats he touches whenever he follows Jonghyun to a cat cafe.

There's a loud patting of a back, a quiet _Oof_. Sometimes Dongho doesn't know his own strength but Jonghyun, Jonghyun's used to that.

It's a good thing Minhyun's gotten his own room at the hospital else the nurses would probably be telling everyone off for the noise they're making.

His manager's not in the room - he's sure he'd smell Minki's cologne if he were. Probably off to grab a quick coffee.

"You doing OK?" He feels the warmth of Jonghyun's hand on his.

"As well as I could be. It's exciting, but a little scary."

"Like the first time up on stage, yeah?" Jonghyun laughs, quietly.

"Yeah. Just like that."

It was all so sudden. He'd been lucky, just finishing up the last shows in his series of small concerts when he'd gotten the news. The latest tests showed he was a good candidate for a cornea transplant and a match had already been found.

Minki had been his usual frenetic ball of energy, "Oh, God, Minhyun this is so great, so exciting...but how do we tell the fans?"

They'd had to add extra seats and a venue when they'd announced Minhyun was going on a long hiatus to recuperate.

He'd wondered if he'd even have a career anymore now he no longer was 'the tragically beautiful blind singing angel' - the way the press liked to describe him.

It'd been hard, trying to adapt to a new reality. Adjusting, letting his other senses take over and compensate for what he'd lost.

Rebuilding a career when he'd thought it would be impossible - to sing again, to perform to crowds the way he used to.

Right now, it was enough to let the sounds wash over him, to take it all in, enjoy this last feeling of being just like this. Drown out the fears, the whispers his parents would try to conceal but he would still hear anyway.

_They know he's sensitive to some medications, right._

_The doctors have his medical records, he'll be fine._

_What if...I don't know..._  
  
_He's made it this far. Let's have a little faith._

Those voices, their warmth. He held them in his mind as he slowly drifted off, his last sensation of the surgeon's hand on his face.

***

"You look like a fly," Dongho sniggered.

"Make fun of the invalid now, why don't you?" Minhyun grumbled.

After the surgery, his eyes had been bandaged and the effect, apparently, was he now seemed to look like some sort of insect. Now here they were, the very next day after the surgery to get his bandages taken off.

The doctor had said to take it easy in the meantime, and to keep the moment of his bandage removal low-key.

Dongho was there, well, because he'd been there through pretty much all of their childhood and teenage milestones. His parents, his sister. Minki. No one else, at least until Minhyun was ready to meet more people.

He felt the nurse gently remove the gauze and netting, and once it was off, he blinked for a bit, getting used to the profoundly odd sensation.

Minhyun knew what to expect but the reality of his sensations - suddenly he was assailed by all sorts of visual input.

Moving shapes...making noise...they were his family and friends, yes?

He heard a sigh from his right. "Even sighted you still space out." _Oh, Minki._

Dr.Yoon laughed. "It takes some getting used to. He's spent this long without his sight. Ah, good, his stitches look fine." He pointed out the tiny neat stitches, Dongho looking away with a queasy expression on his face.

It feels odd but liberating, to see and not just feel the light on his face. His heart is full at the sight of his family and dearest friends here now, with him.

"Who's that?" He motions to a man standing in a corner, leaning on the wall, looking at him. Handsome, and giving him a lopsided grin.

"Who?" Dongho looks at where Minhyun's glancing.

The man is no longer there.

"I could have sworn..." Maybe his mind was still trying to adjust to seeing again. Even if it was doing so by creating a man too handsome to be real.

Because Minhyun was pretty sure he had never seen him, whether in real life, on TV, or on a billboard.

Some composite dream man his brain invented for him probably.

 _What a pity_.

***

He hadn't expected his dream man to be a _fucking nightmare_.

"Is it normal, Doctor, to...hallucinate?"

"It's unusual but not improbable. You did go through a lot in the last few years - losing your sight, rebuilding your career despite that and now you can see again. Maybe it's your mind's way to cope with all the upheaval," Doctor Yoon told him.

Hallucination? Poltergeist? Delusion?

Minhyun wasn't sure what to call this - a man who would keep appearing to him, with no warning at any time of day or night.

Even when he closed his eyes, Minhyun could see the man's face clearly. From the curve of his eyes, the gentle slope of his nose and the striking constellation of moles on his left cheek.

If he told Jonghyun, he would react with concern and ask him to ask for a medical opinion.

Minki would say he was subconsciously dealing with his long romantic drought by inventing a man.

Aron would laugh, Dongho would be worried.

It just seemed so silly but he was sure he was going to go insane, if he wasn't already.

"Minki, I think we might need to rethink the dates of the next comeback."

Minki's face was puzzled, the tiniest worry lines popping up on his forehead.

"Do you need more time to recuperate? Are you eyes bothering you?" His voice was slightly tremulous.

"It's so stupid...I just. I see him everywhere."  
  
"Who? Is there a stalker I don't know about? The bodyguards should be updating me on this - it's not the fanboy who pops up at every signing is it?"

Minhyun shook his head. "No, I see this man. Everywhere. I know he's not physically there, but Minki he's so real. I don't know what it is and it's driving me nuts."

Minki looked at him, thoughtful. "Maybe it's the ghost of your donor? He doesn't look scary, does he? Like, something out of the Ring?"

"No...he looks great, really. He looks good. Too good. I mean, it's as though someone peered into the back of my head and put together everything I like in a face and put it together in one person. He even has these, like, moles. Three, in a perfect little triangle, on his left cheek - right here."

When Minki stayed silent, Minhyun gave him a questioning look.

"Min...just because he doesn't look scary, doesn't mean he isn't a ghost. He sounds pretty much too real to be just made up by your crazy brain. Maybe we should call an exorcist?"

"A priest? Or shaman? No...I don't think I can deal with that.That sounds scarier than this guy is. If it gets worse, then, OK, I'll consider it."

Minki huffed. "If it wasn't truly bothering you, you wouldn't be talking to me about it. Do you see him now?"

"Not right now, no."

"Mm. I'll see if I can dig up some info about your donor. Maybe it'll give some clue to what's happening."

Minhyun only nodded, doubting anything would come of it. Still if anyone could it would probably be Minki. His new manager was surprisingly well-connected for someone who was the same age as he was and was also incredibly resourceful.

In the meantime, Minhyun had to deal with his Beautiful Ghost, as he'd privately started calling him.

 _Jagiya, jagiya, wake up._ He'd woken up to the man being the first thing he saw.

This time, the man stayed longer and walked, talked, moving around the space.

_Silly sleepyhead, you're going to be so late for work. How about you just call in sick and spend the day with me, huh?_

Minhyun was a singer. He wasn't going into work. Whoever the 'ghost' was talking to, it wasn't him.

It made him feel, the tiniest bit, a little sad.

The appearances started lasting longer, and he grew to like the man's voice. He would chatter endlessly and talk to a "Joon-ah", who Minhyun assumed was the man who he owed his sight to.

Right now, he was at a convenience store and the beautiful ghost was here again. This time, tapping his nose. _It's too cold outside for an ice cream but I'm humouring you_.

Minhyun blinked. He was gone. As suddenly as he appeared.

There were days when the man wouldn't appear, and weirdly, Minhyun found he missed him.

He no longer jumped when the man would appear suddenly in front of him, sometimes sticking his face right into Minhyun's.

He'd gotten used to him. It became a fun game, wondering just where and how the man would appear next.

One time, it was next to him when he was brushing his teeth and the other man was also brushing his.

Another, it had been the man asleep, on the pillow next to him. Minhyun found himself turning to watch him, watching for the minute or so before the image disappeared.

He'd seen the man laugh, eat, scream, rage, cry.

Flashes of someone else's life, through someone else's eyes.

 

"Is this the man you saw?" Minki passed him a photograph.

"No, this isn't him." The photograph was of a smiling, broad-shouldered man. Handsome, very handsome.

Minki let out a sigh of relief, muttering to himself what sounded to Minhyun like 'not a ghost, that's good'.

"Is this...the man I owe my sight to?"  
  
"Yes. Seo Kangjoon. Up and coming actor, died in an accident. His family decided to donate his organs."

"So he has family? I feel as though the least I could do is pay my respects."  
  
Minki shook his head. "They're in Canada now. Relocated there not long after the accident, I heard."  
  
"I guess our mystery man will remain a mystery then." Minhyun's smile was a little wry.

"Maybe not." Minki passed him another photograph.

"Oh my god. He's real. Minki, he's an actual..."

"Yeah. That's Ong Seongwu. He was roommates with Kangjoon, apparently they were from the same agency? Seongwu was supposed to debut with a group but that didn't happen. Which is why you, or I haven't heard of him."

_Joon-ah. Joon-ah wake up, you'll miss calltime if you don't._

The ghost, no, Seongwu, had said that one morning and he'd just brushed it off as just another bit of conversation he wouldn't understand.

"I heard he's being released from his contract, and will likely be looking for a new agency soon so I set up an appointment with him. I heard he actually is really talented so who knows - maybe you might end up labelmates."

"OK." Minhyun wasn't sure what to think about it. If he signed, he might be seeing him around. At the agency, maybe at shows.

"Come with me."

"What?"

"I mean it, come with me. Let him ask you questions about what the agency is like. He'll meet up with us first and if he's really keen then I'll talk to the bosses. Set up a meeting with the CEO."

"I don't know, Minki. Like, do I tell him? I mean, should I?"

"Hi cute guy, by the way I see you all the time in my waking dreams. No, Minhyun, I really don't see how you can bring this up in casual conversation."

 

****

Seeing Seongwu up close, in the flesh, was a lot more unnerving than even his first versions of him.

His eyes lingered on the lines of Seongwu's freshly pressed shirt - in his visions he'd only seen him in more casual wear, his hair rumpled and not the smart, slicked style he was seeing right now.

The pants, though - while they were clean now, the memory Minhyun had was seeing him seated on a chair, eating a slice of pizza, a few stray crumbs on the surface of the black cloth of his pant legs.

"Like what you see?" Seongwu's voice had just a touch of mirth in it, which didn't stop Minhyun from feeling embarrassed. _Stop staring, Minhyun_.

"Oh, sorry, you just look...really familiar."

Seongwu let out a laugh. "I can't imagine why. Unless maybe you came across my old modelling catalogues. Or that time I did a shoot for a bridal house."

"Yeah, maybe that's it."

The conversation had started out a little awkwardly, but once they found out they had a friend in common - Seongwu's friend Daniel was from Busan, and he was an old neighbour of Minhyun's before his family had moved away to Seoul - conversation flowed a little easier.

"I can't believe Dan never mentioned you; I see him at least once a week or two."

Minhyun shook his head. "We mostly just text or talk online. I don't go out all that much."

Minki snorted. "I keep telling him people will think he's stuck up, if he won't go out and mingle more. He's got like what, just two, maybe three other people he hangs out with. Besides me, and I have to put up with his ass." He stuck out his tongue at Minhyun for emphasis.

"Hey, Dan and I are going to go have drinks this Friday. You're welcome to come with."

"He's free, I'm his manager, he's definitely free."

Minhyun was so going to get Minki back for this later. "Yeah, sure. Sounds good. Just ask Dan for my number."

Minki's face at that moment was the stuff of memes. Severe side-eye with a touch of slackjaw and a huge dollop of _I am judging you so hard_.

"Or you could just give it to him yourself?"

"Oh. _Oh_. Yeah, yeah, sorry. As you can tell I don't get out much."

Seongwu smiled.

"We'll see if that will change."

 

***

He hadn't expected this - to make weekly outings a frequent thing. If it wasn't a night out for a casual drink, it was a Saturday or Sunday ordering in and watching TV or what looked good on Netflix with the _gang_ , as he'd taken to calling them.

It wasn't just Daniel and Seongwu. There'd be their friend Sungwoon and his friends. Minki would tag along sometimes and he'd even asked Dongho and Jonghyun to come along some nights.

While the group wasn't always fixed, as there'd been schedules to juggle but they met up more often than not.

Minhyun would always be there, though. As would Seongwu.

As the meetups kept happening, Minhyun never saw the fleeting images of Seongwu anymore. They'd faded, lessening the more he saw Seongwu. Eventually they'd just stopped.

It was one of the more laidback nights - Daniel and Sungwoon had gone out to grab pizza and chicken, as well as beer. Dongho and Jonghyun were dropping by a little later. It was just Seongwu and Minhyun.

And a bag of chips.

Seongwu had been noisily having at the bag, when Minhyun appeared with a pair of chopsticks.

"You're such a messy eater, Seongwu."

"Well, you feed me then, Mr.Clean Freak," Seongwu said, opening his mouth wide.

Minhyun chuckled. To be able to talk to this Seongwu and have him talk back wasn't something he thought he'd relish as much as he did.

He'd relented and fished out a chip to feed Seongwu with, which the latter was only to happy to nip off the end of his chopsticks.

"So messy," he'd casually wiped the edge of Seongwu's mouth where a few crumbs had been.

He hadn't expected Seongwu to clamp his wrist with his fingers.

"Minhyun?"

"I'm sorry, did it bother you my being too touchy? I..."  
  
"No. Just...look at me again."

Minhyun wasn't sure what Seongwu wanted, what was behind his sudden request. But looking other people in the eyes wasn't something hard for him. So he looked at Seongwu, stared again at that face that had at first scared him, then intrigued him, and now was real, and in front of him.

"I don't know how to describe this. Like, when you look at me. The way you always look at me is..."

"It makes you uncomfortable?"

"What are we, Minhyun?"

Minhyun didn't know how to answer. Not when the answer was ludicrous, unfathomable.

"What do you want us to be, Seongwu?"

"I don't know...I just. I think I like you, no, I know I do. It's just I'm not sure I'd be any good to you right now."

Minhyun slowly lowered his hand, slowly moving Seongwu's hand, taking it in his.

"You could let me decide that, you know. And yeah, just FYI, I think I like you too. A whole lot."

"Is it...a past relationship? Someone you were with?"

"It was complicated. But then there was an accident, and now he's gone."

Minhyun took both of Seongwu's hands in his. "I'm sorry. It's OK. I get it. I'm not in a hurry, if you need time and if you think you're not ready I can wait. I really can."

"No, I don't think I want to." Seongwu reached close to Minhyun, giving him a quick, chaste kiss.

"I waited too long. His career was rising, mine was at a standstill. I didn't want to burden him with having to think of a relationship right then - so we kept it casual. Or as casual as we could. But we ended up living together anyway, pretending we were just roommates when it was more than that."

There was the slightest catch in Seongwu's voice, and Minhyun could feel the hands in his tremble.

"I thought of him all the time, after he was gone. I'd see him everywhere, in everything in the house. In the convenience store. The supermarket. And I feel almost bad, even a little guilty. But ever since you came into my life, I started to see him less. Now I don't see him at all and I don't know how to feel about that. Or everything, really."

"Oh, Seongwu." Minhyun reached forward, pulling the other man close.

"I'm going to tell you a story, and just please try and listen with an open mind. Just trust me, that I'm not making this up. OK?"

"This sounds weird, but OK."

So Minhyun told him the story. About a man who lost his sight, and found it again.

"I think...I think you meant enough to him that his memories of you lingered. Strong enough they were somehow passed to me. I never really believed in fate. Coincidences. Destiny. But I just want to believe that maybe somehow, I was led to you. And I'm so glad, so glad I found you."

"I'm glad too," Seongwu said, in a whisper. "I don't understand this, and it's weird as shit but I'm kinda glad you talked to Minki instead of checking yourself into a mental hospital."

"So does this mean we should buy Minki something nice?"

"Maybe?" Seongwu smiled. "Just let me buy you dinner first."

"That's a date then."

When Daniel and Sungwoon found the both of them cuddled on the couch, hands clasped, the both of them smiled and looked at each other.

"Took them long enough, huh?" Daniel said.

Sungwoon shrugged. "Well, this means we win the bet with Dongho and Minki then."

Oblivious to the other two's high-fiving and being the subject of their discussion, Seongwu and Minhyun instead were making quiet plans. For first dinner. Then maybe a movie sometime.

 

"I didn't really believe you, you know," Seongwu said, as they stood by Kangjoon's grave. "Not until you described, just how I woke him in the morning."

"Good thing I have a good memory, then. _Jagiya_."  
  
"Let's go home now, Minhyun-ah."

"Let's."

They walked then, arm-in-arm, two unlikely people, brought together by unlikely circumstances. Sometimes, even after the greatest pain, hope still remains and joy, though fleeting, is always there to be found.

It's all in how you see it and Minhyun saw both hope, and love, in Seongwu's eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics quoted are from the Fromm song featuring Minhyun, 'Aftermath'.  
> Listen to it if you haven't.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_ZKf5LiFtI


End file.
